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More and more St. John’s smokers are relying on the charity of others and it’s pissing pack buyers off.
“Whenever I light up, I can’t take three steps without someone asking if they can bum a cig,” said Ryan Voss, a junior.
Some smokers are still willing to bum, but are more contemplative as to who can receive their donations.
“Money is tight,” said Juan Gomez, a senior. “I only bum to hot chicks nowadays.”
Other students charge for loosies.
“If you want one of my cigarettes, then you better have a dollar for me,” said sophomore Stephanie Klein. “And no coins either.”
The administration has refused to acknowledge the problem.
“It’s scientifically proven to kill you. I could give a shit how they feel,” said one University administrator, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he swore.